Saturday, June 28, 2008
Cute Overload Expected to Promote Tainted Tomatoes
Someone was recently spotted digging around in a dumpster at a Bay area facility where tomatoes infected with salmonella are being disposed of. Authorities have not identified the woman, but many locals are saying that it must have been Meg Frost. The dumpster-lurker had several enormous laundry bags in her possession, and authorities believe she was planning to make off with thousands of the tainted tomatoes.
"With her record of promoting Hartz flea and tick products, which are known to kill people's pets," said the police chief, "we have reason to believe that she wouldn't hesitate to knowingly sell salmonella-infected tomatoes to unsuspecting persons."
The chief expects advertisements promoting the tomatoes to appear on Cute Overload "any day now." Officials have issued an advisory to individuals who frequent the web site, imploring them to use extreme caution when exposed to any advertisements sanctioned by Meg Frost. An artist's rendering of a potential Cute Overload tomato ad (pictured here) has been released to aid in the public-awareness campaign.
"The Meg Frost seal of approval," said the police chief, "is actually the kiss of death."
Posted by Me at 9:58 AM