Thursday, July 10, 2008

Animals Deeply Resent Being Pictured on Cute Overload

According to a recent poll, 100% of the world's animals are disgusted with Cute Overload. And those whose pictures appear on the site are especially incensed.

"No one asked me if I wanted to be part of this attack on people's pets," said a hedgehog named Jimmy, whose incredible cuteness is seen on Cute Overload.

"Our pictures are the core attraction on a blog that is promoting -- and profiting from -- the poisoning of cats and dogs," said a baby orangutan who was outraged when he discovered a snapshot of himself on the blog. "It makes my stomach turn."

"No animal supports Cute Overload," said Igor, a baby seal who is furious that a video of him being extremely adorable is available for viewing on Cute Overload. "She never asked my permission to use a video of me, and it sickens me to know that my cuteness is luring people into her Hartz death trap."

While all animals are appalled at the evildoings of Cute Overload, it's clear that dogs and cats whose images appear on the site are the hardest hit. Lena, a tabby whose own kittens were poisoned to death by Hartz flea and tick drops, has repeatedly requested that her image be removed from the site -- but she receives no response to her emails.

Georgie, a bulldog whose best friend, a Pekingese named Charlie, suffered major organ failure after having Hartz applied to his skin as directed and could not be saved, desperately wants his picture off of Cute Overload.

"She won't return my calls," he said. "So my cuteness continues to draw people to that stupid blog, and I can hardly sleep at night."

Georgie is terrified that he or his other friends -- Antigone, the French poodle down the street; Jester, the pug/chihuahua mix at the park; and the five newborn pups next door, to name a few -- will fall victim to the same fate.

"We can't speak for ourselves," said a spokespup for the animals. "We rely on the kindness of strangers not to mislead our owners into using products that will harm or kill us. Unfortunately, Cute Overload is a stranger to kindness."