Monday, July 21, 2008

Cute Overload Expected to Protest Temporary Ban on Dog Meat

Dog meat has been removed from the menus of officially designated Olympic restaurants in Beijing for the duration of the 2008 Olympic Games, and this news has dog lovers cheering.

"I don't want to accidentally eat a dog," said Bernice de Montagne, a Judo and table tennis afficionado who will be attending the Games with her family. "And I know my three young children don't, either."

"We're grateful to not be in a position where we'd inadvertently be eating man's best friend," added Bernice's husband, Steadman. "Dogs should go on walks, not in woks."

Unfortunately, the dark cloud that threatens cute animals everywhere is expected to protest the temporary ban. Cute Overload, which famously revealed its true colors by knowingly promoting a flea and tick product that is poisonous and even lethal to cats and dogs, is expected to protest the temporary ban on dog meat.

"Accidentally harming animals, whether by poisoning them or eating them or whatever, is fun," a spokes-meanie from Cute Overload is expected to tell a crowd of horrified onlookers. "In fact, it should be an Olympic sport! That is why we promote Hartz flea and tick products to unsuspecting pet owners, who then buy the product and accidentally poison or kill their pets!"

"Good times," the spokes-meanie is expected to add.